I miss my best friend or i miss having the feeling of having one. There’s no one to tell my silly stories to that really don’t matter at all. There’s no one to laugh at my overly cheesy jokes. There’s no there at the end of the day. I feel mixed. It’s a roller coaster still. I don’t really know how I feel. I don’t know who to be right now. Being myself isn’t an option because that girl doesn’t exist without you.
Sorry today was a long day. I’ve been going through a lot. I started today depressed, then I got angry, then I started to overly accept it, and then I fumbled back into a nearly numbness with just the slight tint of sadness. Melatonin is making me really tired. Goodnight babe.
It’s been a long time since I’ve worn this. I loved wearing this. People would always ask me who got me the diamond ring and I’d proudly announce my boyfriend. I don’t think I really loved it when I first got it. I think it didnt fit that well the first time I tried it on but as time went on. I loved it. It became apart of my finger because I didn’t even notice its weight but I didn’t notice when it was gone. It became so beautiful to me and I was so proud to have it. I was so proud to have you.
You’re the only person that ever made me feel anything, really feel. Even if it wasn’t always the best of feelings, you’re the only one who could make me smile or tear me down in three seconds flat. You’re the only person that can drive me crazy, in both good and bad ways. You’re the only person that ever made me feel like I didn’t have to try so hard. And I know that you’re not okay without me either, or you wouldn’t talk about such things as you do. I just wish you knew I still loved you, and I wish you would do something with that knowledge. I wish you would grab me and hold me tight in your arms and whisper in my ear how much you loved me more, like you always did.
When we first met and you tried to teach me how to quick scope on Modern Warfare 2 ? I still don’t know how to haha. Those days seem so long ago, don’t they Jay ? Doesn’t even seem like the same story. Well I’ll write to you on here every day in hopes that maybe you’ll read my letters because that’s why I’m doing this. To talk to you even when you’re gone.